Sleepless...

I am sitting in a bed tonight without my spouse.  Pat is in Tulsa, OK.  The climax to our journey is about here.  For the last several months we have eagerly awaited what tomorrow holds.  His surgery is finally here.  We are in shock and amazement at how good God has been.  What a redeemer.  What was meant to stop His very hand, He is turning around and yet again showing in his loving way, the way only a true father could, that He loves us and wants the best for us.  I am so excited for the future.  Tomorrow the surgery begins at 8 am and will last 2.5 hours.  I will be in prayer during that time and spend tomorrow fasting, my way of repenting for the bad decision "we" made, showing God we are a united couple, but also to lift my husband up.  A journey that is truly between him and the Lord.  For so long I thought I had control of so much, but with this very situation God is using it to show me, Laura, you don't have control....and that is ok.  I have this, I have you, I have every DETAIL ironed out. R-E-L-A-X.  What is that, my spirit fights it but I know that God's ways are better, that I don't need his understanding.  I just need to yield to Him and really that's the beauty of it, yielding to him, his design and letting him create.  The creator, creating.